Innovation on a full stomach

My infamous international kakis and I were sitting beside the swimming pool, awaiting the start of a supposedly sumptuous Chinese New Year buffet lunch we had been invited to. It was a pool buffet, meaning everyone in their swimming attire. Swim, frolic, eat, drink – and then repeat endlessly until the food runs out, then repeat until the drinks run out. Malaysian style that makes for hours of endless fun. Best thing is that it was right at our condominium home, so no driving required afterwards.

The hosts were being smart actually, because the sight of the male and female masses of mostly middle aged fat, pale, stretched, patchy, sunburnt and generally horrendously ugly flesh had the immediate effect of killing everyone’s appetites. Combine all of these with middle age crises and attempts to stuff all that flesh into tiny speedos and bikinis, and everyone was quickly attempting to get into an alcoholic stupor as fast as possible.

Of course, being hospitable and gentle Malaysians or guests of the said Malaysians, we all had to compliment everyone on how great they looked and how fit they were keeping. There was some damn great innovation happening right there, I tell you. What creativity was required to give such artistic compliments and what humbleness was required to receive them with deep blushes and it-was-nothing airs.

To get the conversation started. This is what transpired, on that sweaty afternoon, beside the cool pool and the winds from the sea beside us.

“You made us look bad,” says G, the American. He was still pissed off at me because I had just beaten him at squash for the umpteenth time, playing while having a cup of tea in my other hand. He always needs to be number one.

“I cannot make you look anything,” I say. “Bad is as bad does, and looks.”

German T pipes in. “Maybe slightly. But at least you showed that we think and act quicker, and as always, we are the innovative ones.”

M, the Viking Norwegian downs his can of beer in one gulp, and gives a world class burp. “Is the food served yet?”

B, the Malaysian badminton champion says, “Why you all are bothered about T2’s blog? No one reads it anyway, except maybe all of us here. Don’t be so sensitive-lah. It is true what. You guys are always doing it to me too, running away when the bill comes. Huh!”

My turn to open my trap.

“Look. It is all about food. We all want to eat, but no one wants to pay. That is human nature. The food tastes better and goes down and out easier if someone else is hosting us. We win if we get fine stuff for free. I know you guys are generous and support our local orphanages and charities, but would it not be easy if we just take turns to pay when we go out? No need to sweat wondering how to not pay.”

A, from India and a new kaki chimes in with his sing song voice.

“In India, it is a privilege to feed others, as long as we do not have to do physical work. We Indians are brain workers, not physical workers. And if it is not family we are treating, then there must be a very good reason for us to host someone. Nothing is free in this world, but you can try to find the cheapest way to do something. We are great at that.”

We all stare at him in astonishment.

B says, “Oi German T, India are better innovators. There will keep on finding new ways, cheaper ways to do something, because they think with their stomachs. They have found the secret. Feed someone well, and you can get anything you want form that person. And if you can do it cheaply, you win on all counts.”

G is exasperated. “What the hell are you all talking about? What has food got to do with innovative behaviours? Are you all drunk already?”

M says, “G, you say too many things too fast. You think you know everything because you have lived with innovation for so long, and you come from a place that produced the thought leaders of the world. We are going back to basics man. The world is going back to its roots, and making it real. A is right. Understand human nature and the basic needs and things that can please, and you know what to innovate for. If you then forget innovation, and instead focus on surviving and finding easier ways to do things, then you will be the best innovator whether you know it or not. We Norwegians understand this.  That is why we were Vikings.”

T speaks. “Yes, I agree. That is why we have Oktoberfest. And Sauerkraut and Weiner Schnitzel.”

G looks at us wildly. “You are all mad! Why are you talking about food and Vikings? Innovation is innovation. You must apply a rigorous process and understand your customer needs. Then only you can make what they want and make a profit. You are all mad!”

Says I, “That’s where you are wrong G. When it comes to human beings, there is no fixed path or methodology. Customers do not even know what they want, let alone need, until they see it or are made aware of it. But when you connect to them through basic needs – culture, food, tradition, maybe even religion – you are likely to find out their pain and their wishes. Do this through real friendship, and you will hold an innovation trump card. Real empathy, real connection and most of all, real trust.”

I lie back on the deck chair, contented after saying my piece.

“So what do we have here among us? Is this real? We seem to argue a lot when we get together. And someone is always winning and always losing,” B says.

We are all silent. B just said something that contains too much truth and wisdom.

I decide to become a target, since no one else is willing.

“Strangers don’t argue, friends do. Strangers walk away, friends keep on coming together after every argument. Even though someone is losing and someone is winning, the fact is we still meet up afterwards. That is the truth. So on some level, we must be accepting each other as friends, and trust that no one is trying to shoot the other down. Otherwise, why would we be together here right now? Right?”

A puts in a final word.

“You people take things too seriously. Eat, Drink and Accept. Those are the pillars of friendship. With that, comes trust and sharing. The Indians knew this a long time ago. That is why we start and end everything with food. Maybe that is why we also have too much heart problems and diabetes and obesity. But we know it is better to enjoy a long life than to be strict with no fun while living a longer life. It is all about the stomach man.”

“Start with friendship, then fill the stomach then you can go ahead and easily do this stupid thing you call innovation. To us, it is just getting friends to realise what they need and then want. Simple thing.”

“Where the hell is the food, man?”