The Game

I joined a group of friends in a game of badminton, and we sneaked into the hall very quietly, conscious of our middle aged looks and bellies amidst the fit young people there. T, the German amongst us asked why these people were all jumping so high as if they were playing volleyball, not badminton.

“In badminton, there is such a thing as a jumping smash,” says me, the delusional badminton master. “Don’t tell me you have never see a jumping smash before.”

“We Germans are very tall, we don’t need to jump and smash,” says he, smugly but I could see he had gone a few shades paler and was already starting to shed some nervous sweat.

“That’s why there never has been a German badminton champion, “retorted my friend B. “You only are expert with machines. We Malaysians are the experts with light racquets. That’s why we have world number ones in badminton and squash. Tennis racquets are too heavy for us. If tennis balls were lighter, and tennis racquets were lighter, all you Caucasians are gonecase.” (That’s colloquial Malaysian for ‘goners’)

That was a long speech coming from B, who is timid and soft spoken. We all stare at him in shock. “Don’t mess with my badminton,’ he says with a deadly stare at T, the German machine.

We reach our court, and T stands at the net, making the same mistake again. “Badminton nets only come up to my chest, you know. You all better watch out,” says T, having already forgotten the previous exchange with B.

“Tennis nets are even lower,” says B “but since Becker, no German champions. Now Asians are growing taller and stronger, and soon, we will take over tennis too. After that, golf. Now don’t talk so much. Let’s play.” B has a strange light in his eyes.

B and I team up against T and A. A is a great player, and is deadly with his left handed play and smashes from ten feet high. As we play, we all suddenly realise that A’s prowess’s have been neutralized by T’s height and width. A cannot see past T, who is steadfastly standing at the net and trying to smash every shuttlecock, with not much success. The net is taking a brutal beating.

B, a harmless animal activist, has decided T is too juicy a target to resist becoming a bull’s eye for his smashes. T gets pounded in the head and chest. Big guys just don’t move fast enough, no matter how fit they are. At least not fast enough to avoid a 250 km/h smash.

A asks T to stand at the back or at least take care of T's own court square. At least then A can play and T will not get smashed. T finally agrees, and we settle down to a more even sided game. Now B and I start giving T some lethal drop shots. T starts complaining that his back is starting to hurt because he is bending down so much to retrieve the low shots.

B looks at him and asks, “What shots do you want?”

T says, “Normal badminton shots. I have never seen these shots when I played in Germany. Are you allowed to screw the shuttlecock like that during service? Can you serve from the waist like that? Are you allowed to give so many drop shots one after another? In Germany, we are gentlemen and do not smash when someone is standing at the net.”

This is too much for A. A says, “T, forget Germany. Germans might be great engineers and innovators, but we are world number one in badminton. You are always telling us that we are lousy innovators, so why don’t you innovate and improve your game? Your previous formula for playing badminton is not working, so improve upon that. Shift your tactics. Use your innovation strategies lah!”

T thinks about that. “You are right A,” he says. “Let’s adapt. You take the front, and I will take the back. I can hit high lobs from the back that they will never be able to smash back.”

“Are you sure you can handle the running and making sure it does not go out?” A asks. “No problem. Come, let’s win this game,” T says.

T’s first 8 shots are too powerful and are out by 3 feet at least. The others are all what is called ‘hanging’ shots, and B and I mercilessly smash them back. A is getting pounded, and he does not like it. “T, hit is so it goes up and drops straight down, and not in an arc. That will make it harder to smash,’ A says.

T is an innovator and he adapts quickly when he sees the logic. Now his shots are dropping straight down. We switch tactics and move him side to side. In each rally, he can move four times max from side to side, and then he is punctured.

“It’s your weather. Too humid for me. The sweat is getting in my eye and I cannot see what is going on,” T says. B and I reply by smashing the next six shots at him.

We are up four games to zero. A wants to change partners, but neither B nor I are feeling it. “If you do not try to change the rules to suit you, then it is okay. We know you are a great innovator and have made millions for your company, but you cannot innovate the rules. Innovate your game play-lah!” B explains to T.

T says, “But this is not the way we play back home. Your rules, your points counting, your style – everything is different. Even your weather is different. It is not fair to me.”

I say, at the limits of my patience, “We are following international rules. we all have to play from with the frame work of accepted play, not look at it from above and change rules that do not suit us. Style has no rules, it makes the difference between being an average or champion player. I cannot do anything about our weather, but I can come to Germany to play someday. What do you want us to do?”

“We play to enjoy the game in Germany. We don’t smash all the time and never continuously, and we hardly use drops shots and slices. One rally can go on for five minutes,” T says.

“Aha! That’s the problem. Malaysians don’t play to enjoy. We play to win! Smash, smash, smash, drop, drop, drop then listen, listen, listen for the applause,” B says.

T starts to say something, but B cuts him off.

“Listen T, let me speak. Let me speak!"

T is not done, and opens his mouth.

"Listen! Let me speak!" B says.

T shuts up.

"The picture of the game in your head is different from the picture in my head. Sorry lah. We take our games very seriously. Friend, friend lah. Germany is better at us in almost everything. You must let us be better than you in one or two things lah. Games are all for fun. But our attitude and thinking must be in line with each other, then only we know what everyone wants and what is important. We must communicate with each other, and must not think with our ego.”

Gods. Another record breaking speech from B. What is the world coming to?

T smiles at that.

“No problem. After this, I will buy all of you three rounds of beer at the best German bar in town. Now, who wants to play another round? I will show you a great German smash this time! German style game. Not Gangnam style game, German style!”

German humour. Gods!